1-1 battle between my Father and I

Haha, why do we fight our Creator? Isn’t that what the enemy is doing? Fighting his Creator?
Are we different from the enemy?
Or perhaps we just really don’t believe in our Creator?
Does GOD really have all these rules that we must live by?
Did I have rules in my home with my children?
Did I want them to obey?
And if they didn’t, didn’t I say, there’s the door?
So why wouldn’t I obey my FATHER’s rules in my FATHER’s House?
Could it be because I don’t respect His rules?
Perhaps, I don’t like His rules?
Haha! But I want my children to respect mines.
Have I really been loving you the way I hoped I had Father?
Or has my words been in vain?
Because your word says in Corinthians 13:4
Love does not dishonor others
That includes you
And Since I like real talk
I haven’t been honoring you.
I worship you
I praise you
Yes I brag about your Powers
But when it comes to your rules
I’ve laughed and took
Advantage of Hebrews 13:3 when you said
You will never leave me?
Am I user dear LORD?
I’ve used you in between relationships
I’ve used you through the hard knocks in my life
I’ve fallen to knees when I was broken
And knocked on your door
Sat on your patio
Buuuuuuut in my happiest moments
You wasn’t you first person
I acknowledged
Yes eventually I said
Thank you,
But I celebrated with that person I thought I loved.
Sometimes I celebrated my own fame
And strength
As if you wasn’t there
Haha, I’m a joke
But I’m baaaaaack
And it’s me and you again
Will I choose to be faithful, honorable and respectful to you?
I say yes, my heart says yes, but I’m nervous that I’ll let you down.
I don’t want to let you down again
So hold on tightly to me Father because as
Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:15
I do not understand. For what I want,
This I do not; but what I hate, this I do.
I hate disappointing you
And I’m sorry ABBA
Forgive me of my wicked self-seeking ways
Teach me self control
Teach me respect
Teach me Love
and teach me what it means to honor
Thy Name ABBA. ❤
I’m not letting you go. I am your stalker, even when I know I am wrong and disappoint you. I will continue to stalk you because I need you.
And I’m my best self when I’m in my love affair with you.